Permission vs. Enabling
Where's the line between "this system doesn't work for my brain" and "I just don't want to do hard things"?
This is the question neurodivergent people ask ourselves constantly - and get it wrong in either direction and you're screwed. Think everything is enabling? Burnout. Think everything deserves permission? Nothing gets done.
In this episode, Em sits down with Elliott to have an honest (and vulnerable) conversation about where the line actually is, how to tell the difference, and what to do when you're not sure.
In this episode:
Why this question is so loaded (and shame-inducing)
Real examples: the laundry situation that happens in their house every week
The problem with vulnerability without power (and what's missing from the Brené Brown approach)
The key distinction: Are you moving toward something that works, or away from all effort?
Permission requires experimentation. Enabling avoids it.
The "is this sustainable?" test
Why accommodation isn't the same as enabling
What to do when what works now stops working later
Key takeaway: Give yourself space and permission, but not enabling the part of you that just wants to avoid doing hard things because they're hard. (Em's still working on this one too.)
Resources mentioned:
The Hearth community - thehearth.co
